What a difference a day makes! On Tuesday, I was in just about the bitchiest mood I've ever been in. We're talking puppy-kicking, yell at the husband who is just trying to help, couldn't even laugh at my favorite Friends episode bitchy.
But Wednesday morning, my sweet husband actually remembered that it was our third wedding anniversary, and came to work with a dozen roses for me. Nine pink, and three white. What a sweetie, right?
We got the paper done and uploaded to the press by 6 p.m. - which is basically a miracle - and he even offered to take me out for supper. But I decided that if he was taking the evening off (which is another miracle), I just wanted an evening at home with him all to myself. So we had a wonderful night together, and I'm feeling SO MUCH BETTER today!
But we'll see how things go later today. I have a meeting with my biggest client who I do work for on the side, and I'm going to have to stop being a chickenshit and tell him that I'm pregnant. He's not going to be happy with me - he has all these plans for things he wants to do next year, and I'm going to need some time off. Hopefully he's not too mad - and that he likes my work enough to wait a few months for me!
Wish me luck!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I need a vacation!
Watch out! I'm in a foul mood today, and I need to bitch for awhile to get it off my chest.
'Cause here's the thing: I need a vacation. I need a vacation like I've never needed a vacation before in my whole life. I've been working what feels like non-stop for months and months and months. And I haven't had a whole week off since we moved to Airdrie two years ago.
In the first year we were here, we could leave on Thursday and come back to work on Monday, and that was enough for me. But for the last year I've been taking in extra work on the side, which means I work the first part of the week for the newspaper, and spend the rest of the week (including weekends) working for myself.
In the spring, I took on WAY TOO MANY PROJECTS, and in April & May, my day went like this: Get up at 8 a.m., get to the newspaper around 9 a.m., work through lunch, take a quick supper break at 5 p.m., then depending on the day of the week, work on either the newspaper or my extra projects until 2 or 3 a.m.; go to bed, get up and do it all again tomorrow. On weekends I would let myself sleep until 9 a.m., but then work at home until 2 or 3 a.m.
The past couple of months have been better, but I still routinely work until about 9 p.m. on Mondays and at least until midnight on Tuesdays. And then I take half the day off on Thursday because you gotta find some time to clean your house and do your laundry, but then work for myself all weekend.
And now I'm so tired of working I could cry. I get up in the morning, and I just don't want to go. I don't want to stare at my computer all day in my windowless office. I don't want to be mad at the salesperson who never gives me her stuff until 3 minutes before the deadline on Tuesday so I have to work until 2 a.m. to get it all done. And I don't want to listen to her say: "That's your problem," when I ask if perhaps in the future she could give me her stuff a little earlier so I have a Tuesday night to myself someday before I die.
My creativity is zapped, and I can't concentrate like I used to anymore either.
I know that if I just had two weeks in a row where I didn't have an urgent deadline to meet, I would love my job again by the end of those two weeks. My creativity and focus would be back, and I would happily work until 2 a.m. because that's my job and that's what I'm paid to do. But I don't see it happening anytime soon.
I'm so glad I've got such a great distraction from it all now. Whenever I find myself getting way too angry I just take a minute to daydream: Is it a boy or a girl? Will it look like me or Nate? And after that, I've always got a smile on my face.
Maybe I'll start my maternity leave a few weeks earlier than my due date, and spend those days getting ready for baby, and reading as many books as I can before my water breaks. I had planned on working for as long as I could before the baby's born so that I could spend the maximum amount of time with the baby, but I'm starting to think that maybe I need a little time off before I start my NEW stressful job!
'Cause here's the thing: I need a vacation. I need a vacation like I've never needed a vacation before in my whole life. I've been working what feels like non-stop for months and months and months. And I haven't had a whole week off since we moved to Airdrie two years ago.
In the first year we were here, we could leave on Thursday and come back to work on Monday, and that was enough for me. But for the last year I've been taking in extra work on the side, which means I work the first part of the week for the newspaper, and spend the rest of the week (including weekends) working for myself.
In the spring, I took on WAY TOO MANY PROJECTS, and in April & May, my day went like this: Get up at 8 a.m., get to the newspaper around 9 a.m., work through lunch, take a quick supper break at 5 p.m., then depending on the day of the week, work on either the newspaper or my extra projects until 2 or 3 a.m.; go to bed, get up and do it all again tomorrow. On weekends I would let myself sleep until 9 a.m., but then work at home until 2 or 3 a.m.
The past couple of months have been better, but I still routinely work until about 9 p.m. on Mondays and at least until midnight on Tuesdays. And then I take half the day off on Thursday because you gotta find some time to clean your house and do your laundry, but then work for myself all weekend.
And now I'm so tired of working I could cry. I get up in the morning, and I just don't want to go. I don't want to stare at my computer all day in my windowless office. I don't want to be mad at the salesperson who never gives me her stuff until 3 minutes before the deadline on Tuesday so I have to work until 2 a.m. to get it all done. And I don't want to listen to her say: "That's your problem," when I ask if perhaps in the future she could give me her stuff a little earlier so I have a Tuesday night to myself someday before I die.
My creativity is zapped, and I can't concentrate like I used to anymore either.
I know that if I just had two weeks in a row where I didn't have an urgent deadline to meet, I would love my job again by the end of those two weeks. My creativity and focus would be back, and I would happily work until 2 a.m. because that's my job and that's what I'm paid to do. But I don't see it happening anytime soon.
I'm so glad I've got such a great distraction from it all now. Whenever I find myself getting way too angry I just take a minute to daydream: Is it a boy or a girl? Will it look like me or Nate? And after that, I've always got a smile on my face.
Maybe I'll start my maternity leave a few weeks earlier than my due date, and spend those days getting ready for baby, and reading as many books as I can before my water breaks. I had planned on working for as long as I could before the baby's born so that I could spend the maximum amount of time with the baby, but I'm starting to think that maybe I need a little time off before I start my NEW stressful job!
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Better than Ikea?
Since the day we moved into our townhouse a year and a half ago, I have been daydreaming - make that obsessing - about a sideboard at Ikea. I need more storage in my kitchen, and this particular sideboard was not only beautiful, but would fit perfectly under the big window in my kitchen. But since we seem to be in a perpetual state of renovation, I was waiting until all the major stuff was done before I started buying new furniture.
So I was not sure what to do when a couple of weeks ago my husband came home with some free wood he had recently acquired and announced that he was going to MAKE the sideboard for me. He asked for a picture of it that I printed for him from the Ikea website, and as I was handing it to him…
Me, in my head: "No, no, no!!!! I want this one! You'll never be able to make it look exactly like this!"
Me, out loud: "This is what I like. Just like this. You think you can make one like this? Yes, really? Well, won't it be a lot of work? Because it would probably be easier to just buy the one at Ikea…"
I was not at all sure his creation would turn out even remotely like the picture, and, well, I'm really, really picky about furniture. But he's been working on it every night for about two weeks now, and he seems to be having SO MUCH FUN! He's buying new tools, and spending every spare minute in the basement. (Come to think of it, he could be hiding from the crazy pregnant lady who won't stop talking about the terrible kids on Supernanny who scare her to death …)
But I have to admit, his sideboard is turning out to be really beautiful. I'm feeling rather guilty that I doubted him and his carpentry skills. But in my defense, I've never really seen him build anything before. And we've been living together for 6 years.
So, since we are close to our third anniversary (watch out, it's gonna get mushy), I want to say I'm sorry for doubting you honey, and thank you very, very much for making the beautiful sideboard for me. It is just as nice as the Ikea one, but it will have added meaning because you spent so much time and effort making it for me. How did I get so lucky?
So I was not sure what to do when a couple of weeks ago my husband came home with some free wood he had recently acquired and announced that he was going to MAKE the sideboard for me. He asked for a picture of it that I printed for him from the Ikea website, and as I was handing it to him…
Me, in my head: "No, no, no!!!! I want this one! You'll never be able to make it look exactly like this!"
Me, out loud: "This is what I like. Just like this. You think you can make one like this? Yes, really? Well, won't it be a lot of work? Because it would probably be easier to just buy the one at Ikea…"
I was not at all sure his creation would turn out even remotely like the picture, and, well, I'm really, really picky about furniture. But he's been working on it every night for about two weeks now, and he seems to be having SO MUCH FUN! He's buying new tools, and spending every spare minute in the basement. (Come to think of it, he could be hiding from the crazy pregnant lady who won't stop talking about the terrible kids on Supernanny who scare her to death …)
But I have to admit, his sideboard is turning out to be really beautiful. I'm feeling rather guilty that I doubted him and his carpentry skills. But in my defense, I've never really seen him build anything before. And we've been living together for 6 years.
So, since we are close to our third anniversary (watch out, it's gonna get mushy), I want to say I'm sorry for doubting you honey, and thank you very, very much for making the beautiful sideboard for me. It is just as nice as the Ikea one, but it will have added meaning because you spent so much time and effort making it for me. How did I get so lucky?
Saturday, July 22, 2006
And Baby Makes Three!
I'm pregnant! We're having a baby! I'm knocked up! And I'm so excited! So I decided to start this blog as a bit of a diary so that I'll remember this time, and that all of you who live far away can share this with me.
So, to answer all your questions…
1. The baby is due January 28, 2007, which makes me 13 weeks along. Yep, I've been keeping this under my hat for awhile. I just thought that if something awful happened, I wouldn't want to have to call everybody and tell them there wasn't going to be a baby after all. But I've hit the second trimester mark, so I'm guessing it's pretty safe to let the cat out of the bag.
2. I'm going to make a lot of women mad at me with this one - I didn't throw up once. There were days when I ate or smelled something that my stomach definitely didn't like, but I didn't throw up. Okay, that's not totally true. I did throw up once, but 24 hours after my husband Nathan did, with the same symptoms he had. So I'm not counting that one as morning sickness.
3. I wasn't sick, but I was SO TIRED, and SO HUNGRY!!!! I ate us out of house and home for about a month there. One night, after eating all of my supper and finishing off Nate's too, I made myself a big bowl of Guacamole dip and ate it and an entire bag of those Tostitos Scoops tortilla chips. And there were a couple days in a row where at three o'clock in the afternoon, I had to close my eyes and have a 15 minute power snooze right there at my desk at work. I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. And the same thing would happen right after supper. As soon as I was done eating, I needed a nap, and it was non-negotiable. I've never been that tired before! It was very weird for me.
But Monday morning I woke up and I wasn't tired anymore. Well, wasn't as tired as before, anyway. It'll be a couple years before get back to my pre-pregnancy state of alertness, since most of it was caffeine-induced. Have you ever watched Lorelei on the Gilmore Girls? That was me, but my addiction was Diet Coke. I'll bet their sales have plummeted drastically for Western Canada and they just can't understand why…
And that, in a very short nutshell, is how things have gone so far. I'm kinda glad to be through the first trimester, mostly because I finally have the energy to exercise again. And I LOVE exercise. I'm not one of those people who think of it as a chore - for me it's the thing I look forward to doing at the end of the day. Running, biking, step aerobics, tae bo; if it gets my lungs burning and my heart pounding, then I love it. It's been bothering me as I feel myself get further and further out of shape. It's not really a body image thing for me - although it's not fun to watch all those pounds pack on. It's more a big part of me that I miss.
I exercised a couple nights this week, and it was the first time since I did the team event at the Tinman Triathlon in Vulcan on June 3. It felt good, but it was a little bit frustrating though, just because when you're pregnant, you have to keep your heart rate lower than 140 beats per minute. And for me, that's barely getting started. I never realized it before, because I honestly never pay attention to my heart rate when exercising. I'm one of those people who like to push myself until my lungs are burning a little and I'm just starting to gasp for breath a little bit, and then back it off ever so slightly and stay at that intensity for as long as I can. Then I know I'm getting the best out of myself and my workout.
So on Monday night, I hauled out my step bench and blew the dust off my old introductory (therefore easy) step aerobics tape. I thought it was perfect, because you stop halfway through and take your heart rate, and then I would know how hard I could exercise. So, I'm breezing through this thing and barely getting winded and thinking that at the halfway break I would have to stop and put the step bench up a couple notches. But when I took my heart rate, I was right at the 140 beats mark! So I guess I have to wait a little longer for my heart-pounding workouts. God I miss them!
But my new daily dilemma is - what the hell do I wear? I'm just starting to get a little baby bump (plus the extra pounds that have come with eating tons and not exercising), so my old pants and shorts don't fit, but I'm not big enough yet for maternity clothes. I have one pair of capris that are stretchy and therefore still fit somewhat, and I'm wearing them nearly every day. But they're white, and me being me I'm going to spill something on them one day very soon, and then I'll be screwed! I think I'm going to make a stop at the Baby/Maternity consignment store here in Airdrie and see what I can find. Either that or just go to the Superstore’s Joe Fresh Style section and buy a bunch of cheap pants and shorts a couple sizes bigger than usual to get me through until it's maternity wear time. All you women who've been there, what did you do?
So, to answer all your questions…
1. The baby is due January 28, 2007, which makes me 13 weeks along. Yep, I've been keeping this under my hat for awhile. I just thought that if something awful happened, I wouldn't want to have to call everybody and tell them there wasn't going to be a baby after all. But I've hit the second trimester mark, so I'm guessing it's pretty safe to let the cat out of the bag.
2. I'm going to make a lot of women mad at me with this one - I didn't throw up once. There were days when I ate or smelled something that my stomach definitely didn't like, but I didn't throw up. Okay, that's not totally true. I did throw up once, but 24 hours after my husband Nathan did, with the same symptoms he had. So I'm not counting that one as morning sickness.
3. I wasn't sick, but I was SO TIRED, and SO HUNGRY!!!! I ate us out of house and home for about a month there. One night, after eating all of my supper and finishing off Nate's too, I made myself a big bowl of Guacamole dip and ate it and an entire bag of those Tostitos Scoops tortilla chips. And there were a couple days in a row where at three o'clock in the afternoon, I had to close my eyes and have a 15 minute power snooze right there at my desk at work. I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. And the same thing would happen right after supper. As soon as I was done eating, I needed a nap, and it was non-negotiable. I've never been that tired before! It was very weird for me.
But Monday morning I woke up and I wasn't tired anymore. Well, wasn't as tired as before, anyway. It'll be a couple years before get back to my pre-pregnancy state of alertness, since most of it was caffeine-induced. Have you ever watched Lorelei on the Gilmore Girls? That was me, but my addiction was Diet Coke. I'll bet their sales have plummeted drastically for Western Canada and they just can't understand why…
And that, in a very short nutshell, is how things have gone so far. I'm kinda glad to be through the first trimester, mostly because I finally have the energy to exercise again. And I LOVE exercise. I'm not one of those people who think of it as a chore - for me it's the thing I look forward to doing at the end of the day. Running, biking, step aerobics, tae bo; if it gets my lungs burning and my heart pounding, then I love it. It's been bothering me as I feel myself get further and further out of shape. It's not really a body image thing for me - although it's not fun to watch all those pounds pack on. It's more a big part of me that I miss.
I exercised a couple nights this week, and it was the first time since I did the team event at the Tinman Triathlon in Vulcan on June 3. It felt good, but it was a little bit frustrating though, just because when you're pregnant, you have to keep your heart rate lower than 140 beats per minute. And for me, that's barely getting started. I never realized it before, because I honestly never pay attention to my heart rate when exercising. I'm one of those people who like to push myself until my lungs are burning a little and I'm just starting to gasp for breath a little bit, and then back it off ever so slightly and stay at that intensity for as long as I can. Then I know I'm getting the best out of myself and my workout.
So on Monday night, I hauled out my step bench and blew the dust off my old introductory (therefore easy) step aerobics tape. I thought it was perfect, because you stop halfway through and take your heart rate, and then I would know how hard I could exercise. So, I'm breezing through this thing and barely getting winded and thinking that at the halfway break I would have to stop and put the step bench up a couple notches. But when I took my heart rate, I was right at the 140 beats mark! So I guess I have to wait a little longer for my heart-pounding workouts. God I miss them!
But my new daily dilemma is - what the hell do I wear? I'm just starting to get a little baby bump (plus the extra pounds that have come with eating tons and not exercising), so my old pants and shorts don't fit, but I'm not big enough yet for maternity clothes. I have one pair of capris that are stretchy and therefore still fit somewhat, and I'm wearing them nearly every day. But they're white, and me being me I'm going to spill something on them one day very soon, and then I'll be screwed! I think I'm going to make a stop at the Baby/Maternity consignment store here in Airdrie and see what I can find. Either that or just go to the Superstore’s Joe Fresh Style section and buy a bunch of cheap pants and shorts a couple sizes bigger than usual to get me through until it's maternity wear time. All you women who've been there, what did you do?
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